New year....new me!!

It's been a while since I've blogged. A dear, old friend of mine (no, she's not old, we've just been friends for a while!) recently started a new blog and it reminded me why I started blogging in the first place. When I have some more time I will share not only what she said in her blog, but why I feel the same way. For now, I just want to put down on paper (or cyber-land) my intentions and a promise to myself. It's a new year and I have A LOT to be thankful for. While 2008 was certainly NOT a good year for me in many ways....it could have been a lot worse. I have my healthy and I have a lot of good people that surround me and support me. One of the things I want to do more this year is BLOG. It's very therapeutic and right now, I can't afford a shrink...lol! The year is off to a great start and I want to do everything in my power to make sure I stay in a positive mind-frame and keep moving forward. I have a tendency to look back and reflect too often. While this can be healthy and therapeutic, it also keeps me stuck and prevents me from moving forward in certain aspects.

So, with that being said...here are 2 of my New Year's Resolutions (there are more, but that's all I have time to share for now)

1. BLOG more!
2. Live in the NOW and look to the future....the past is the past for a reason and today is a called the PRESENT for a reason!!

To all my cyber-followers: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


More soon...promise!!


Deb

Wouldn't it be loverly....

I had my second psychic reading today w/ Judith...courtesy of my mucho generouso friend Jeanne (thank you lovey!!) This time I spoke with several members of my family that have passed....including my uncle who I never met. He died when he was 19 years old. He was in NYC at the Broadway show "My Fair Lady" with my grandparents. He suddenly did not feel well...had a splitting headache. My grandparents took him home, he collapsed and died of a brain aneurysm. My mother doesn't like to talk about my uncle, but luckily my dad does. My mother also has never and will never, ever see the movie "My Fair Lady" even though she is a HUGE Audrey Hepburn fan...as am I. I have seen the movie many, many times...has been an old favorite of mine since I was very small...before I knew the story of my uncle. Could this be why?

I recall as a child putting on 'performances' with a neighborhood friend (I wonder what ever happened to Laura?). We did a lot of The Wizard of Oz..I knew ALL the songs. We also performed many songs from My Fair Lady...."All I want is a room somewhere...far away from the cold night air...warm hands, warm heart...oh wouldn't it.....be LOVERLY!!!" I STILL remember the words! Again...I must ask myself is it because of this connection to my uncle?

I have often wondered how different our lives would be if he had lived. I have a fairly large extended family on my dad's side (he is the oldest of 3 boys), but my mom .....it's always just been her and our 2nd cousins (who we have always been very close with) in Brooklyn. But if Ira had lived....I might have more cousins...we might have had help when my grandparents both took ill...we might have had....a lot of things. So Judith said that Ira said that we have a very strong connection. He has always watched over me...since before I was born. He 'adopted me' and is always around. I found such comfort in knowing this. I wish I had a photo of him to post. He had a lot of freckles....like me. :)

I wish I had known him...oh wouldn't it be loverly.....

Cyber Stalkers.....

Cyber-space is a really scary place. I know that I CHOOSE to post my life for the world to see and leave myself open to all the nut jobs that it holds. And granted, in our own ways we ALL cyber stalk people that we know...and even some that we don't. However.....the last thing I expected when posting a lovely little review of Mamma Mia in where I reminisce back to a time with someone special....to have a nasty comment posted by his current on again/off again g-friend. This girl has been cyber-stalking me for almost 2 years. And now she has found my blog. As always, I am taking the high-road. I never respond to her directly...I simply notify him of her appalling behavior and let him "handle" it. But this time....my only retaliation, which is also my only outlet....is this blog.

My intention is not to get into the nitty-gritty details. Nor to divulge my relationship (current or past) with this man....or hers for that matter either. It is simply to vent...and if some understanding is reached...then all the better. I tread gently and wearily....

I can not for the life of me, understand the mentality of someone who has nothing better to do than Google me. Nor someone who has a relationship with someone that they don't trust. Without trust, you have NOTHING! I have no interest what-so-ever in being with this man again. I wasted 6 years with him ...and now, apparently she is going down that same path with him. If anything I feel sorry for her. He is doing the EXACT same thing to her that he did to me. Those of you who know me and him KNOW what that is....no need to post it here. She should know that I have told him many times NOT to do it...to spare her. In many ways, I can't blame her for being jealous of me....to an extend. He did NOT tell her up front that we were friends. That we kept in touch and even spent time together occasionally. That was HIS wrong-doing...not mine.

I have always remained friends with my exes. My feeling is this....there was something that we liked about each other before we fell in love, tormented each other and finally broke up. There was a core, basic friendship that existed and still does. That doesn't end just because we didn't work out as a couple. I enjoy keeping up with their lives and having them in mine as well. The men I date have always understood that and if they didn't....well, I wouldn't date them anymore. He and I were together for a VERY long time and went thru A LOT together. We have remained friends for the 4 years since we broke up. We have never gotten back together since then...nor will we ever. I am NOT in love with him, nor is he in love with me. I DO however care about him greatly and he will always have a special place in my heart...as I will in his.

Up until recently the only one of my exes that I had NOT kept in contact with was my ex from high school. And thanks to Facebook...we just saw each other this weekend for the 1st time in 20 years! It was surreal, to say the least. But it was VERY cool too. We have been chatting for about a month and have subsequently developed a very different friendship than we ever had in high school. We are completely different people than we were 20 years ago. I've really enjoyed getting to know him again. Despite public outcry, there were no sparks...and that's OK...really!! We will continue to be friends though, and I am quiet happy and content with that.

In the meantime...I go out. I date. I am open to what the world has to offer me...MAN wise. Sadly....it's not much. But no matter how poor my options are...I would NEVER knowingly go after someone else's man...it's not my style. And I truly believe that Karma is a B*TCH! So think about that next time you cyber-stalk someone! ;-)

Spoiled in Atlantis

Last weekend, my girlfriends and I went to Atlantis in the Bahamas. We stayed in the Presidential Suite in The Cove. This place was THE BOMB!!! Yes, that's right...I went there..I digressed to the 80's and said THE BOMB!! Three thousand square feet of pure elegance and opulence! Seven flat screen tv's w/ internet access, 2 butlers, 2 bedrooms, full kitchen, 2 mini-bars, it's own private work-out work w/ 3 pieces of equipment: elliptical, treadmill and bike. We had a club lounge with complimentary breakfast in the morning, apps and drinks in the evening and a full library, complete with board games (which came in handy one cloudy afternoon). There was a private pool, just for guests of The Cove, complete w/ DJ, restaurant, bar AND Blackjack tables!! OH.....MY....GOD!! We were fully and completely pampered and spoiled rotten. I just have one question...when are we going back?? :-D

Dude, HERE's my car!!

Met Stacy at Hooter's for yummmmaaaay Crab Legs tonite. As I pull in the parking lot I see this awesome Yankees suv! SWEET!!! I immediately take a pic of it on my cell and send it to my whole family...as well as some of my Red Sox fan friends...heeheeheee! Wound up sitting right next to the owners! Turns out there is a local radio station (640 am) that airs all the Yankee games! SWEET! DUDE!

Fay! Fay! Go Away!!!

Went up to Port St. Lucie on Friday to visit with some old friends. They have a 9 month old baby and I haven't seen them since he was about 2 weeks old. Nicholas Jospeh is such a sweet baby with a wonderful disposition and always a smile for everyone!

Had a lovely visit with them and even saw my old friend from high school (see previous posting). Was all set to go home today when Fay decided to take charge. I can't really complain....am much more comfortable here. My A/C is still busted at home and I'm sure my satellite would have been out with all the wind and rain. So I would have been bored and hot, which is NEVER a good combo...heeheehee.

So here I am, still in Port St. Lucie. Jen and Roscoe are taking good care of Tonka and all of my appointment's for this evening have been cancelled. Now I just have to hope that the storm passes tomorrow so I can come home. My cousin Lauren is coming in on Wednesday to stay with me for a week! She came down last year around the same time and we had a blast! Our other cousin, Danielle, also came down from Orlando and she is also coming for a few days this year. Here's a picture of us from last year:

School Days and old friends

Spent the afternoon with an old friend from high school,Tobi. We had such a lovely time. Went to lunch and then a movie. We also stopped by the town square in her neighborhood of Tradition in Port St. Lucie. Talk about Hometown USA! Was like out of the movie The Trueman Show or Pleasantville!!! More pix to come...